We'll Begin Again Read online

  We still had about twenty minutes until we expected to see the Taliban. The stillness in the air calmed me for a little while, but I knew we were only in the eye of the storm. In fact, the quiet morphed into an intensity we all simultaneously felt. I imagined all the scenes of every war movie I ever watched. None of them prepared me for this moment, though. Soon, I'd face life or death. Soon, everything would change.

  "You ready for this?" I asked Spence and Huddy, a nickname he despised, but I used it all the same.

  They both nodded and smiled broadly. "Let's get 'er done, bro," Hudson said.

  "Time to kill some terrorist fucks!" Spence agreed.

  Then, shots rang out. My brothers and I looked around to the source of the gunfire.

  "It's an ambush!" Our Captain called out. "Come back to the convoys now!"

  While most people would fall into hysteria, calm washed over me. I knew what I had to do, even if all hell had broken loose. Spence, Hudson and I had each other's backs as we rose and shot several bullets toward the fighters encroaching our group.

  "Fuck you!" Spence yelled.

  Somehow, the Taliban knew we'd be here. They tried to kill us, as they killed so many Americans before us.

  Spence, Hudson and I made our way back to the convoy. Spence, a couple of paces ahead of us, led the way. A handful of seconds passed, and then an explosion erupted around us all. I saw Spence fly through the air like a toy, and shock rippled through my body. A motherfucking IED. Then, it all went black.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Amelia

  That night, William slept on the couch so we could ride together to the office in the morning. We'd accidentally gotten a little too tipsy after dinner, so I set my alarm an hour earlier than normal so we could work on his resume together. Usually, I’m much more responsible when it comes to drinking on a work night, but something about William had me letting my guard down.

  I softly tapped William's shoulder to wake him up. After a minute, he hadn't moved a muscle so I shook him more abruptly.

  "Wake up, sleepy head!” I sang brightly.

  William tensed up as soon as he opened his eyes, and the anxiety in the air felt palpable. He jumped up, grabbed at his belt and pulled out a pocket knife.

  “Whoa!”

  He looked around with a gaze of fright upon his face. I recognized that face, though; it was the same one my father wore when he awoke from one of his night terrors. He, too, suffered the consequences of combat. I was no stranger to this look. After a moment, William mumbled an apology and put the knife away.

  I pulled a chair over to the couch and held my MacBook in my lap. The aroma of coffee wafted through the air, and William eyed me as I pulled my robe tighter across my chest. I realized too late I wasn't wearing a bra.

  Once he sat up on the couch, I pulled up the resume template I downloaded from the internet. Formatting his resume didn't take as long as I expected considering he hadn't held a steady job after being released from the military. But, I beefed it up as much as I could to make it look impressive.

  “Do you think that sounds too cocky?” William asked as he pointed to the line I’d just written.

  “Not at all. Nothing wrong with showing off your accomplishments,” I replied eagerly.

  “Wait, I think there’s a typo.” William reached for the laptop and his hand brushed against mine. “Oh, sorry.” He pulled back as though he touched a hot stove, but the feeling of his skin against mine sent a shock wave through my body.

  “Fixed it.” Our eyes locked and fire burned between our gaze.

  I wanted another excuse to feel his touch, but it was time to get ready for work.

  "You're going to do fine!" I promised for the one-hundredth time. "The maintenance manager is really friendly."

  William nodded and swallowed. He hid in the bathroom after we finalized his resume. I needed to get in there myself, but I didn't want to rush him or bother him while he got ready. His day was much more important than mine. I wasn't meeting with any clients today, so I used Charlie’s bathroom instead.

  I didn't have very much makeup in my bedroom to use in our second bathroom, but I had just enough to cover up the pesky bags underneath my eyes and apply a coat of mascara to my lashes. While I dug in my nightstand drawer, I also found a faint pomegranate lipstick to wear. I glanced at my watch and realized if we didn't leave soon, we'd both be late.

  "William, are you almost ready? We gotta go, like now."

  "Coming!" He opened the bathroom door, and the suit looked just as dashing on him as it did last night. The only difference was William's face appeared quite a bit more green than before.

  I handed him a banana and a to-go cup of coffee.

  "You're going to knock 'em dead, soldier!" I punched him in the arm, and he looked as though he wanted to puke on my shoes. I wanted to punch myself after that. Why did I do that?

  We passed the guard in the foyer, and I couldn't help but smile as he did a double take at William. I'd brought a shaggy homeless man home, only to leave the next day with a debonair hunk crushing it in his Giorgio Armani suit.

  William sat in the passenger seat, and I noticed his hands shook while they held his resume and cup of coffee. I'd run out of motivational tidbits, which was probably for the best. So, we rode to the office in silence. He slurped his coffee now and again, but I'm sure the caffeine only increased his nerves. We parked in my spot, which hadn't been taken today, and walked in silence to my firm's building. When we passed William's bench, I noticed him glance at it out of the corner of my eye.

  William held the door open for me as we entered the building. I signed him in at the front desk and pulled him into my arms. I didn't care if anyone witnessed our embrace. When I was around William, I only thought about him. Screw the people around us.

  "You're going to do great, okay? Just remember what we practiced. Oh, and have the receptionist call me when you're finished. I want to hear all about it!"

  "Thanks, Amelia."

  I left William in the foyer as he waited for our maintenance manager to bring him into the conference room for his interview. I wished I could go with him, but I had to let him go for the time being.

  In my office, I spent the next hour chewing on my pen and glancing at the clock. For the life of me, I couldn't understand what was taking so long. The interview should have lasted about a half hour, tops. I checked our office messenger and saw Andy, the maintenance manager, was still in "Meeting" mode.

  To distract myself, I poured another cup of coffee and rechecked my emails.

  "Everything okay?" Karen peeked her head into my office.

  "Uh, I think so."

  "That doesn't sound so convincing. What's up?"

  "Come in," I said, ushering her inside. "So, I met someone."

  Her face lit up like a Christmas tree. "You did?!"

  "Oh, not like that!" I corrected. "William is just a friend, but he's interviewing for the open maintenance job."

  Karen eyed me. "Just a friend? Is this the same William you've mentioned before?"

  Karen was probably the only friend I'd made since moving here. She acted so motherly toward me, it felt as though I actually had a mom in my life again. I'm sure my own mother approved from the big puffy clouds upstairs. I'm sure she was happy I had someone in my life to lean on. It's not like I could give my ex mother-in-law a call to talk about men, right? Even though everyone at my firm was friendly, I sometimes had a hard time opening up to new people, except for Karen.

  "Yes, the same one."

  "I thought I saw a handsome new face downstairs when I came in this morning." She grinned. "He's very cute. You sure you're just friends?"

  As I was about to shoo her away, my phone rang, and I jumped in my seat. The caller ID read "Reception," and I stood as I picked the receiver up from the cradle.

  "Yes?"

  "William asked that I call you and let you know he's waiting for you downstairs."

  "Thanks, Beth!"

  "
Your knight in shining armor awaits," Karen teased.

  I stuck my tongue out and raced to the elevators. Karen had a way of bringing out the kid in me sometimes.

  "Well, how did it go?" I asked William as we sat down at a corner table in the cafeteria.

  He looked crestfallen, and my heart broke. Then his frown disappeared, and a sly smile spread across his freshly shaven cheeks.

  "I got it," he said.

  I gasped. "You did? I knew you would!" Heads turned at my sudden outburst, but I ignored them. "I'm so happy for you! Did you tell them you’d have a permanent address soon?"

  “Yeah, they said it was no problem. I just have to show proof of the address after I move in.”

  I hugged him for the second time that morning and breathed in his fresh, mouthwatering scent.

  "I start on Monday."

  "That's great!"

  "So, there's something I wanted to talk to you about," he said, his smile fading.

  "Anything."

  "I was wondering if I could borrow a little money." He swallowed. "I promise I'll pay you back with interest, but I need a little something until I get my first paycheck. You know, for some new clothes and stuff."

  I knew this must be difficult to ask for, but I had no problem helping him. "Of course, whatever you need.

  "Really?" I saw a bead of sweat roll down his face.

  “Yeah, of course. I could use a shopping trip myself.

  "I think I'm going to go take a walk to get some fresh air," he said.

  "Okay. Meet me at my car around 6?"

  He looked perplexed.

  "You need to sign some papers at the halfway house. I already talked to the manager."

  William smiled, and it was the kind of grin that could have lit up the entire planet. He walked out of the cafeteria, and I noticed several women stared at him with mouths agape. It seemed as though I wasn't the only one digging his new makeover.

  As sad and empty as I felt when William left the office, I realized that tomorrow Charlie would be coming home, and I'd have someone else to hold in my arms. Only this one was quite a bit smaller.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Amelia

  "Sugar and cream?" I called out to William as I turned on my Keurig.

  Last night, I went with William to the local halfway house to fill out his paperwork and receive a copy of his key to the property and his own room. The manager, a woman in her mid-forties, was very kind and understanding of William’s situation. She gave us a tour and showed him to his room. While much smaller than I’d hoped for him, it was a place to call his own. The manager, Wendy, advised that most of the other residents were recovering addicts and that William needed to be respectful of them and the house rules which included no illegal substances or alcohol.

  William happily obliged, and for the first time in several years, he had a warm bed and the promise of safety and security.

  This morning, I picked him up from the halfway house and brought him back to my apartment for breakfast. I learned to avoid asking William to eat in public places. Plus, I didn’t mind cooking myself, even though my dishes were simple.

  “Are you excited for Charlie to come home?”

  “Very! I’ve missed him so much.”

  “I bet.” William picked up a photograph of Charlie and me taken at his kindergarten graduation.

  “You don’t mind if I take you back home after breakfast, right?”

  “Not at all.”

  “Charlie’s never met any of my male friends,” I said.

  “You don’t have to explain yourself, Amelia. I understand. Although, I would like to meet him some day.”

  My heart swelled. I hoped he could meet Charlie someday, too. I know Charlie would love William. And, now that William was all cleaned up, I wouldn’t have to worry about my son asking those pesky, honest questions kids so often manage to do in public.

  As I sipped the last few dregs of my vanilla biscotti-flavored coffee, someone knocked on my front door.

  “Are you expecting someone?” William asked cautiously.

  “No. Charlie’s not supposed to be home for another couple of hours.” I pulled myself up and walked to the door, peeking through the peephole.

  There, on the other side of my door, stood my son and ex-husband, way earlier than planned.

  “Who is it?” William whispered.

  I turned around. “I’m sorry, William.”

  William stood like a deer caught in headlights, and I didn’t blame him. This is not how this introduction was supposed to happen.

  As soon as I unlocked the door, Charlie burst into the room with a smile and an extra inch or two.

  "Hey, buddy!" He jumped into my arms, nearly knocking me over. "I missed you, too!"

  Cal stepped into the apartment, and his eyes fell on William. He turned his nose up as though I had a skunk for a houseguest instead of a human being.

  "Who're you?"

  Charlie followed his father's eyes and looked at William, too. "Hi!"

  My cheeks reddened darker than I ever thought possible as I tried to figure out how to explain my current predicament: my ex-husband, my son and my ex-vet, ex-homeless friend all in one room together.

  "Uh, well—"

  "My name is William. You must be Charlie?" He bent down and extended his hand.

  Charlie looked at William's hand but eventually shook it. "Are you Mama's new boyfriend?"

  I choked on air, and Cal gasped. William seemed to keep his cool, though. Must have been that military training shining through. "No, I'm a friend of your mom’s. It's nice to meet you. I've heard all about you."

  "Cool. Wanna play some video games with me?"

  "Uh, sure."

  Cal tapped his foot against the floor with his arms crossed over his body.

  "Oh, yeah. Cal, this is William; William, this is Cal."

  William extended his hand again only to have Cal look down as though he spit on it first. My ex turned to me. "I wish you would have told me you had a guest."

  “I wish you would have told me you were dropping him off way ahead of schedule,” I hissed.

  Clenching my fists, anger rose inside me like a volcano about to erupt. Was I not allowed to have friends?

  He scoffed, and I took a step toward him, except William was quicker.

  “I’m William. It’s nice to meet you.” William let his hand drop back down to his side.

  Cal looked him up and down with scathing eyes.

  "Be nice, Cal," I spat. "You're going to be seeing William again soon, and you don't want ill will to ruin your special day."

  "What are you talking about?" Cal asked as his eyes grew wide.

  "William is going to be my wedding date," I taunted.

  For a moment, I regretted blurting this out. I hadn't even asked William about coming with me. I hoped he wouldn't blow my cover. Luckily, he just stood by my side like the protector I never knew I needed.

  "You've got to be kidding me?"

  "Nope. Now, say goodbye to your son because you've outstayed your welcome here."

  Cal sneered, and I hadn't abandoned the idea of punching him yet—I still had time. Even though we’d been divorced for a couple of years, he still knew how to push my buttons.

  "Charlie! I'm leaving!"

  "Bye, Dad," Charlie called from the other room.

  I snickered at Cal's pained expression. Usually, I made Charlie hug his father goodbye if he got distracted by coming home, but not this time. He had our son for a whole two weeks; now it was my turn.

  "See you next month!" I called out as Cal headed toward the elevator.

  He didn't stop to turn around and acknowledge my promise, but I knew he was regretting ever inviting me to his wedding in the first place. That was worth receiving an invite, after all.

  I closed the door and cringed as I turned around, now having to face another man in my life. I had no idea how William would act now that I'd practically used him to piss off Cal. Not that I didn't wa
nt him to come with me, because if he did, I wouldn’t have to check single dinner, but it was gratifying to see Cal so fired up about a potential new man in my life.

  "So," he began.

  "Uh, yeah. About that." My cheeks reddened. "This is probably not happening in the right order, but will you be my date to a wedding in Candlebrook next month?" I smiled sweetly and batted my eyelashes, hoping the innocent vibe would motivate him to say yes.

  "Do you want me to go because you genuinely want my company or to piss off your ex?"

  "If I said both, would you still come with me?"

  “Sure, why not?” He shrugged.

  “Thank you!” I reached in for a hug and wrapped my arms around his neck. His fresh scent wafted into my nose and I closed my eyes tightly, wanting to absorb everything about his touch. With every passing day, William seemed to mind less and less when I embraced him. And I found myself wanting to provide comfort to him as often as I could. I truly cared about this man before me.

  “I’m going to head out, though. Give you some time with Charlie.”

  “You want a ride?” I asked a little too eagerly.

  “Nah, it’s okay. I’ll walk.”

  “Call me later. The halfway house has a phone, right?”

  “Yup. See you later.”

  William left the apartment, and as soon as he closed the door, I felt a pang of sadness come over me. But I quickly remembered my number one guy was finally home.

  Chapter Twenty

  Amelia

  The following day, William and I planned to take a shopping trip for new clothes for the both of us. Originally, I planned to have a sitter watch Charlie while we were gone, but he begged to come with us. In the history of being a mother to Charlie, never once has he pleaded to go clothes shopping. I had to take him up on the offer; who knew the next time he’d ask?